


Get used to it

by DELight00



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Love Letters, Post-Episode: s03e08 Are You Leading or Am I?, Soft Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Villanelle | Oksana Astankova Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25377259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DELight00/pseuds/DELight00
Summary: Post-bridge, V and Eve have been hiding in a safehouse for a couple of days, and V is finding it easier to write to Eve to tell her how she feels.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	Get used to it

Darling Eve.

Stop frowning already. It looks cute on you, but this letter is serious stuff.

You are actually sitting across from me on this awful-looking, unfashionable excuse of a safehouse couch as I write, so I understand why you would be confused. You're thinking that if I have anything important to tell you, I could just as well speak to you.

But that's where you're wrong, Eve.  
See, the words that I need you to hear come from a place buried so deep within me, that even the blade you stuck in me wouldn't get to it. So deep, that I didn't even know it still existed. Well I'm in that place now, and I simply can't trust my voice with what I have to say.  
Besides, I also really can't trust you to just shut up and sit still for five minutes. Don't roll your eyes, you know I'm right.

You will maybe think that I'm writing to you because I wrote countless letters to Anna, a lifetime ago, and that it is just how I've learnt to express my fixations.  
Wrong again, Eve.

Now, these are the things that I need you to know:

This, here, now, has nothing to do with Anna. You, my dear, have nothing to do with Anna. How could you, when the delusional, sociopathic girl I was then is gone forever? She was killed, that girl. She died a slow but sure death at your hands. You saw right through her, and delivered the final blow with your acceptance. You remember when you held me close in the ballroom? You said "I know", and you didn't loosen your grip one bit. That moment, right then, that was your last kill, Eve. Not Dasha.

Your presence here with me in no way erases all the harm I've done in the past. If anything, it means that I can't ever shy away from my responsibilities again. I will repent everyday of my life for a chance to be worthy of you. Even if you don't stay. But God, I hope you do.

You said we'd consume each other. And you asked me to help you make it stop. I'm sure you think that trying to walk away on that bridge didn't work. But I think it did. It put you in my arms, and it gave us an intimacy that we haven't let go of ever since. Can't you see that nothing slays a painful obsession like intimacy does? What we have together is not consuming. Fighting it, was.

So Eve, I suppose this letter is really to tell you how insightful and right I am about everything, and that you should get used to it, because I'm not just a beautiful face, I'm also very very smart and I'm not going anywhere.

Oh that, and also, I love you.

V.


End file.
